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When fluffy bubble-gum film star Megan Valentine (Jessica Simpson) of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the United States Army, hoping in vain that it will ‎Plot · ‎Cast. Buy Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous: Read 57 Movies & TV Reviews Jessica Simpson is Megan Valentine, a pampered Hollywood starlet who no one takes seriously. One disastrous night out lands her in an Army recruiting office.